Hello there, you looking a little bit dusty and unloved huh?! (me talking to my blog, uurrghhh!)

Guess what?! It's 2020 already and people are more into vlogging now, which by the way not definitely my thing. I'm all camera shy, you know that! And what else is new?! I'm locked up due to the pandemic virus. Too much self pity huh, I mean almost everybody in the planet are locked up to flatten the curve and this is really crazy!!! 

This locked up is not like the house arrest I watched in the movies but still it feels like hell. I think of myself as non sentimental type, i think, but jeez those little demons are creeping unto my brain and it's making me crazy. I badly miss the parentals, it's been like forever since I saw them, like really saw them (video call not counted). That brings me to the real world -- of really, like REALLY living on my own. Well not technically, I'm lucky enough to be stuck in the city with the sister. Thank God!

Living alone, is not a new thing to me. It's been what -- 4 years in college and more like 14 years in the corporate world, close to 20 years huh?! Half of the years, I was all up of ready-to-eat-add-hot-water foodie, and surprise, a sumptuous meal. I was never a picky eater, NEVER (or that what I just thought). Maybe more than half of it -- I tried and planned my money will get through the days before I have my bucks pocket replenish again, Key words: tried and planned.Oooh and after college, the bills, THE BILLS, I think they deserve to be capitalized. Can I just say that headache and bills can actually perfect to be in one sentence, phrase or hell yeah even just them together as words are totally sensible, that you can lose your wits. Let me throw in your multiple relationship around, not solely talking bout the intimate one, various of it and how you need to nourish each one of those and even those you don't want at all. Last but not the least, the uncontrollable changes -- that even you plan things out, it will not just always goes your way. Can you feel the tension growing?! Welcome to adulthood! Wowoot!

Ranting is one of my talent I develop for some years, HAHAHHAHA! Anyhow sharing some sanity pill I picked up along the way. Please note it may or may not work for you but there's no harm in trying - it's all organic anyway! HAHAHAHA!

Sanity Pill 1 - IT'S OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. Stop smiling if you not feeling it. You are not created in this world to be smile making machine and who are you kidding anyway. You are only responsible to what you feel and fuck them all. The rule is you can not give what you don't have. So if you want to be the Miss or Mister Sunshine to everybody you might be a sunshine on yourself first. Accept that you are not okay, embrace the feeling and after some time do something about it! 

Sanity Pill 2 - NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO COOK. But be your own Master Chef. It will not just keep you sane but will definitely save you! I started to be the master egg fryer better than just boiling water right?! But somehow it helps me up my morale that I can accomplish something. From frying egg, Aglio Olio Pasta, Spicy Garlic Pasta and my favorito Kimchi Jigae. It helped me to be healthy too and saves a lot of money rather going to add hot water meals and fast food restaurants. Definitely a quick upper. Oohh and by the way the kitchen can really get messy, HAHAHAHAA! Part of the process to accomplish something.

Sanity Pill 3 - WE ARE ALL BROKE. You know how our country is indebted to World Bank for number of years. Even those babies that haven't born yet have debt. This is not an encouragement to file your loans everywhere. Stop! All I'm saying it is normal, because it is! So enough of the wallowing and plan for it. The thing is you have to pay for it. Focus on what you can pay and slowly pay for it. Plan on it. Stop adding to the problems more. Live within your means and please save! You'll never know when a pandemic will hit you and believe me it really hit hard.

Sanity Pill 4 - EVERYONE WILL LET YOU DOWN. That's for sure even you're closest chum. You are not exempted to such pain. The thing here is you have to choose the correct people who will be worth the pain. Even family can hurt you, but you know what's the difference, at the end of the day, regardless who hurt who, they will be beside you. Choose very wisely. BEWARE of those people who says they got your back, but to nurse their own wound - they will crush you - for the sake of their pride. Do not get caught with their blah-blah-blah " I'm telling you this because i'm your friend". Selfish people are definitely waste of time.

Sanity Pill 5 - WE ARE ALL IN THE SAME STORM. Act of nature - something way out of our control. As much as you want to hold on your sail, the wind will go through it 365 degrees and believe me you will be lost. Guess what?! We are all in the same storm with different boat and sails, but on our boat, there is God. In all the uncertainties in life -- GOD IS IN CONTROL-- and you are protected with His unconditional love. Our spirituality needs to be completely nourished in order to surpass everything. Only with His help, you can stay afloat with adulthood difficulties. Keep those hands together and continuously ask for enlightenment.

All i want to say my friend is YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We maybe on different seasons in our life, with our own problems that eating up our sanity. Reach out and try to do something about it. Keep swimming up, this too shall pass.