40 Days of Mixed Emotions

4:32 PM

"I know you don't want to see tears ( in the first place we're never been the emotional type) . I know you're watching us all from the great above and I can imagine how you wear your cute lopsided smile. Indeed, you are in a better place and much happier. A place where you are truly understood, where we all belong after all the journey."





Never in his 40 days that I failed to visit his Facebook page. In this simple way, it's like I get to spend time with him. I remember how he put us (his friends) before himself. I remember how he boast that he came from a good looking family and how his mom good cooking satisfy his tummy every meal. I remember how he turned a gloomy day to a extraordinary cheerful day with his classic funny lines and acts. I remember how he live his life with enthusiasm. I remember him everyday...

But sometimes I just feel  the emptiness, and seeing his page is not enough to overcome how much I miss him. So on his 40th day of passing away and supposed to be 26th birthday, we (Friendshift) set our sail to Bulacan to have some Garri's-loving and share it with his family as well.


For a special gift we come up with a doll look-alike caricature that may reminds the family how good looking their son is. Mini-Me caricature is somewhere in Mega Mall and finding it is like finding a treasure in a deep blue sea especially when you have sense of direction quotient of -50%. LOL  I was with a friend and we run north to south, east to west finding the Mini-Me store however we failed. When I'm about to give up, I kinda blurted "Hoy Garri! Tulong help naman dyan, alam mo naman nga-ngers ako sa mall! diba?! diba?!", and after that we took an elevator and viola after we alighted... apparition, hallucination, dillusion or whatever-tion.... Mini-Me Store present itself , shimmering and sparkling like golds and diamonds... wowoot! Thanks Gerkie!


TRIVIA -- Friendshift get together wont be complete without a.... uhmmm CAKE! So for this special occasion, a red ribbon chocolate cake sponsored by Garri's beshie, Renzipopsie, yummy! Back on our college days, I remember that we once organized a surprise birthday party for Gerkie, but since money was a big issue then, pancit canton, corned beef... CUP CAKE with liwanag candles and an overwhelmed friend made my day. Hahaay... those were the days!


We have Brenda, Lubay, Ahjie, Renz, Erpie, Jhigz and me for this Garri loving day. After almost a month of not seeing each other, we have our own stories we shared, like how we miss the clown of the group and how we cope up with the feeling of emptiness. Reminiscing is always part whenever we have a get together but this time, reminiscing is kinda sad but happy in a way because we have something to look back to, each one of us has a special memory with Gerkie. A special memory that we will treasure for the rest of our lives.


Baylon's family always welcome us with both arms, warm and very accommodating. Now I realize that a person's warm love is completely hereditary. If we are having a hard time to fill in the empty spot in our hearts what more are they, they've known him ever since the world starts turning for him. Although we have a sad heart coming because of Garri's passing away, it's also important to us to give a little happiness to the grieving family. Sharing sadness is better than handling it alone. 


When Garri was alive he's the one who always insist for a get together. It can be out of town swimming, dinner, comedy bar night out or just simply watching movies. I consider him the most outgoing in our group, but now I've realized it's not just going out and wasting some time. Most probably Garri knows that his life is shorter compared to us and he's just living the most out of it. He wanted some memories to keep not for him but for us who will be all left behind. Indeed, you've left us a lot of good memories Gerkie, the different sides of you and the short time that I've come to know you is enough to realize that God send angels here on Earth.


Just after sunset, our troop headed to Memorial Park with Garri's parents. Our group is never been the serious type, there are times that even if we are in a serious situation we burst into laughing just because we're so serious.  Circled on Garri's gravestone while holding each other hands, we say a little prayer for our mad crazy man. Although we started pointing at each other who'll lead the prayer was a bit funny but when we're doing the prayer, tears had fallen while our hearts are badly longing for him. And then we burst to laughing again because I haven't given them time to say their prayers out loud for Garri because I ended mine saying "For this intention, let us all pray Our Father..." Sorry naman! I thought you guys doesn't want to talk anymore since no one wants to lead the prayer dba??!!! Sorry na! I remember them saying "haaay naku Orange, ngco-compose na kame sa utak namin! imbey!" LOL Well, again.. sorry na! :D


Yes, it's been a roller coaster ride of emotions for this past few days, however most of it are sadness and regret but i'll always end up envisioning you with our Creator, happy and contented. Free from all hurt and suffering. Anyhow, we only part to meet again! By that time we have a lot of stories to tell, endless laugh to share and we'll never to part again. I love you with all my heart! See you in God's time.







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