The more I think it over, the more it's getting messy. Well not literally, but I'm kinda losing the grip. When from the very start I drilled my purpose in my brain. However, this thumb-thumping part of me, once in awhile, clashing with my head. I'll gather myself , start from the beginning, remind myself what's this all about. And then, when I'm fixed and renewed, everything is smooth and fine, again here comes the wrong reason and damn, it just never fails to bring me down.